Red Bull, Coffee, and Other Drugs
by SorceressSupreme
Summary: Darcy and Loki visit an old friend during their visit to earth, a Dr. Stephen Strange. There they have met his girlfriend Astrid Blake and the group sets out to annoy the sorcerer in every way they know he hates. A loverly crossover between SorceressSupreme's Just A Dream, and JotunChick11's Journey to Asgard. Please READ and REVIEW. ABSOLUTELY NO SLASH.
1. To Prank, or Not To Prank

**This story was conspired by the devious minds of JotunChick11 and ****SorceressSupreme XD**

_"Come and take a walk on the wild side...  
__Gonna kiss you hard in the pouring rain..." -_Lana del Ray

* * *

"Maybe we should put real drugs in it," Darcy suggested with a laugh. "That'd be hilarious! You know, cuz he'd be all high and everything."

Astrid couldn't hold back a laugh. She poured some more creamer into the concoction, then gently stirred it all together. "Darcy! No! I'm not going to do that! Then he _really_ wouldn't trust me."

Loki peered over Astrid's shoulder, muttering impatiently. "Is it almost done? Astrid, I think that's sweet enough. There should be NO way for the sorcerer to detect the coffee in there."

Ignoring the Asgardian, Astrid lifted the mug of "hot cocoa". She narrowed her gaze suspiciously. "Loki, this is delicate business. Stephen HATES coffee. Absolutely hates it. The taste, the smell... Everything about it. Do you have any idea what he would do if he found out we were trying to get him to drink it?"

Loki smirked devilishly, the corners of his mouth turning up in mischievous delight. "Oh, I can imagine. It would make for great entertainment."

Astrid sighed and rolled her eyes. She jabbed the spoon at him. "If Strange finds out about our _plan_ ahead of time, I'm blaming YOU. And you know how kind our host can be when he's mad." Astrid smiled sweetly.

Darcy groaned loudly. "Come _on._" She bounced up and down in nervous impatience. "Are we gonna do this or what? Hey Astrid maybe you should taste test it first."

Astrid nodded quickly. Her nerves were all jumpy from all the sneaking around they'd been doing. It'd been a pain in the ass just to get the caffeinated beverage past the ever vigilant servant, Wong. Now the trio of pranksters had been laboring for a half hour to perfect their amalgam of coffee and sweeteners. Astrid blew lightly on the steaming liquid, held the cup to her lips, then took a small sip. Darcy and Loki watched her, waiting with bated breath. What few moments passed seemed to endure for an eternity. Then at last Astrid lowered the mug from her lips with a smile.

"I can't taste any coffee whatsoever. I think our potion is a success!" She raised her hand in a highfive, which Darcy promptly returned. Loki stared at the upraised hand for a moment, confusion etched on his features. Then he tentativeley highfived Astrid back.

"Okay, let's go!" Astrid cupped the mug tightly in her hands and dashed out the door, nearly sloshing the liquid all over herself in the process.

"Hey Wong where's Stephen?" she asked a bit breathlessly, several minutes later. It was easy to get lost in Stephen's house without the proper guide. Or the patience to walk _slowly_ and watch where you were going.

The short Tibetan eyed her suspiciously. Astrid gave a nervous snicker. Surely Wong couldn't know what devious plans they had in mind for his master. "He is in the study..." he replied slowly. "May I ask why you are in need of him? It is not wise to distract him from his work."

Astrid grinned broadly. "Oh I know. But Wong, come on this ME we're talking about. He loves it when I bug him!" She edged past the servant, then waved for Loki and Darcy to follow her. Now that Astrid knew where they were going the trip was made easier.

The door to the study was firmly shut. Astrid knew what that meant. The great and powerful sorcerer didn't want to be disturbed. Ha! Well that was just too bad, because this coffee mug wasn't getting any lighter in her hands and she was dying to see what would happen to a caffeinated Stephen Strange. She'd entertained thoughts of it before but was only just now putting those ideas to action. Astrid took a deep breath, then lightly knocked on the door.

"Time to make like an Esther," she muttered, briefly recalling the story of a long ago queen who had been pardoned from disturbing the king. _Yeah, something like that_, she thought drily. After waiting for a half-second she pushed the door open. Loki and Darcy were keeping their distance though, until Astrid gave the all-clear.

Stephen himself was seated at the far end of the study, reading a small book and taking notes. Irritation flickered in his gaze when he first looked up, but when he saw that it was Astrid he relaxed. ''Astrid? What's wrong?"

"What? No, nothing's wrong. I wanted to see how you were doing." Astrid went over and plopped herself down in his lap, just barely keeping the drink from spilling over. While Astrid kept him distracted her friends snuck in to watch the scene unfold.

''What's that? Another one of your cursed concoctions?" Stephen asked drily, kissing the top of her head.

''No..." Astrid flushed guiltily. He had guessed it but luckily he hadn't been serious. ''It's hot chocolate. I made it for you."

Stephen glanced wearily at the mug of frothy liquid. "That's very nice..." he said slowly. Behind that soft gaze Astrid could tell he was trying to figure out her true motives. Hehe. He hesitated. Astrid smiled hopefully up at him, widening her eyes in innocence. "Go on, just _try_ it." Astrid pressed the mug into Stephen's hands. "I won't give up until you do," she said firmly.

Stephen sighed in defeat then took the mug from her. Just as he was about to take a sip, he frowned and lowered the cup, giving her a look. "What exactly did you put in here?"

Oh shit. Astrid thought quickly. "Just, the usual stuff. You know, hot cocoa mix, some creamer. The works." Then she got offended. "What are you trying to say exactly?!" She glared hard at him, amber eyes glinting dangerously.

Stephen quickly took a sip. "Nothing! I just wanted to know is all." Astrid gave him a hard look and he took another sip of "cocoa". Astrid watched the man closely. She knew that he really didn't like hot chocolate either, his main preference being tea. But he also didn't want to hurt her feelings... Mwehehe. Astrid could use this to her advantage.

"Oh." Astrid's eyes watered up. "I get it. You don't like it..." her bottom lip trembled.

"What? No no! That's not it at all! Well, it's a little too sweet but..."

Astrid jumped up, turning her face away and setting her shoulders in a hunch. "I just wanted to do something nice for you. You're always working. But whatever. It doesn't matter I guess." Astrid felt a tad guilty for manipulating him like this, but it was necessary.

Stephen took her by the wrist and pulled her closer to him. "Astrid, there's no need to manipulate me," he said softly, grey eyes imploring her.

"I wasn't manipulating you! It's just that whenever I try to do something nice for you, you don't like it!'' Astrid retorted, getting frustrated.

''I love it when you do these things for me.'' Stephen whispered, kissing her hand. ''I'll drink it all. Just take it easy on the creamer next time. Okay?"

''Okay.'' She sat back down on his lap, watching intently as he drank it.

Loki came around behind them. "Yes Stephen. It's a very special drink she's made you. Lots of creamer, lots and lots of creamer.''

Stephen glared at him as he drank, blissfully unaware of their hazardous plot. Astrid felt like kicking the Asgardian. They were too close now for him to go and fumble all their efforts. She kept her expression cool and composed though.

''Very, very special. I believe you'll find it quite... How would you put it? _Energizing_." Loki smirked and then winced. ''Ow!"

"Oh I'm sorry Loki, I really didn't mean it." Darcy said, looking with sincere regret in her eyes. Then her expression changed. Her eyes read, "Don't give the plan away or something bad will happen in your future."

Loki rolled his eyes and looked away.

Stephen took the last sip and sighed. "What are you all staring at me for?"

"No reason. I just like watching you drink like 8 ounces of creamer." Darcy replied drily, shooting Loki a glare.

"Oka- What have you done to me?" Stephen gasped, clutching his abdomen and groaning.

"We put coffee in your drink!" Loki boasted, glancing at Darcy warily.

"Wait guys... What did you put in there Darcy? He's had coffee before, but he didn't act like this." Astrid asked, looking at Stephen worriedly.

"Oh. Highly caffeinated coffee, creamer, hot cocoa powder... Oh! And a whole can of Red Bull!" Darcy said proudly.

"YOU WHAT?!" Astrid roared, her hands clenching into fists as she leaped off of Stephen's lap.

"A whole can? You are truly amazing." Loki smiled affectionately at Darcy, looking her up and down.

"Thank you," Darcy replied, bowing slightly. "I wanted to make sure it worked Astrid. He'll be shaking for a little while, but he'll get over it... I think.''

Stephen got up and stumbled over to the door. Then he froze.

"Stephen..." Astrid said quietly.

A low chuckle emanated from him.

"What have we done?" Loki asked quietly.


	2. Hide and Seek

**Astrid**

Stephen was everywhere. Running around his library like a hyperactive jumping... thing!

''I find this extremely entertaining. We should make this a regular thing,'' Loki said, smirking. He wasn't smirking when he nearly got knocked off his feet as the sorcerer rushed by in his caffeinated frenzy.

''No. This was a bad idea and we should probably keep him contained so he doesn't break anything.'' Astrid made for the door but Strange was too quick. At her words he'd bolted for the door and had run out, laughing as though he'd been transformed into Jack the Ripper.

''Shit!'' Astrid exclaimed, running after her psychopath boyfriend. Then she reappeared just as suddenly. ''YOU TWO!'' She stabbed a finger in their direction.

Loki pointed at himself questioningly.

''GET YOUR SORRY ASSES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!''

Darcy followed Astrid's orders very quickly and joined the young woman outside. Loki was slower to follow, but at some point he too was out there in the near empty hallway with the two women.

''Okay, let's try to find him..." Astrid glanced around a bit hopelessly. She bit her lip and turned back to her friends. "No getting separated. And you've GOT to listen to me. I don't know what he'll be like with Red Bull running through his veins... but so far it doesn't look good. Got it?''

''Got it!'' Darcy said. They chose a random direction and ran down the hallway, presumably after the hyped-up sorcerer.

It proved to be harder than they thought to find Stephen. The group found that they had gotten themselves lost in the extensive mansion.

''Where the hell is he?" Loki seethed, frustration evident in his voice.

''Darcy...? Where did she go?" Astrid looked around for her brown-haired friend. The spunky woman was nowhere to be seen. Loki and Astrid shared a tense look as they realized they had lost one of their own while running after a caffeine-high man with severely high testosterone levels.

''We lost my girlfriend?" Loki hissed. ''Darcy?" He disappeared down one of the hallways, still calling her name. "Darcy!"

Astrid grumbled and followed after him. Who knew, maybe they'd find Stephen asleep... and Darcy just making herself some coffee while watching Gone With the Wind. Not likely.

Astrid heard a crash and looked behind her. Nothing stirred and eerily she felt like she was being watched. This was stupid. An intoxicated man wasn't that dangerous... Especially when he's just drunk on caffeine... Or maybe she felt this way for a reason. Dont be silly, Loki's here, right? ...And Loki was gone. He'd vanished somehow in this intricate maze that was Stephen's home. Now Astrid was completely alone.

* * *

**Loki**

''Dammit,'' Loki muttered under his breath. Astrid had been with him only a moment ago. Now she too was gone.

''Darcy? Astrid? Darcy? ...Wong?'' He was entirely lost in Stephen's labyrinthine hallways. Deep down, Loki knew that he didn't want to be found by the sorcerer if the man himself happened to be angry. Correction:_ very_ angry.

An eerie feeling swept over him. His mouth went dry as his nerves got the better of him. Loki whipped around, sending a blast of energy that knocked over a large pile of furniture. Other than that, he was alone. Or so it seemed...

''Getting jumpy... _Laufeyson_?'' Stephen's voice mocked from behind him.

Loki took a deep breath and turned around. No one was there.

''Enough games Strange. Come out,'' Loki said aloud. His eyes swept every corner of the hallway. The ominous feeling of dread made him regret that they'd ever pranked Strange in the first place.

''Or are you just... _Frigid?_'' The words hissed in Loki's ear. It struck home.

''ENOUGH!'' Loki blasted the walls, hitting everything. He slumped down, resting his back against the wall. He created a luminescent shield about him to guard against any unwarranted attacks.

''You can't keep me from getting in with that simple charm. I'm much more advanced...'' Stephen said, walking into Loki's little circle of protection.

''How...?"

''I don't find what you found_ so funny_ about giving me caffeine. I didn't laugh one bit. I only laughed at my thoughts of revenge...'' Stephen sounded a little too wacked out.

Loki stood, ''Stephen.''

''Yes?"

''What are you going to do?"

Stephen smiled, then frowned, his expression going dead serious. Loki gulped. He knew _exactly_ what the sorcerer had planned. And unfortunately Loki wasn't very good at this game.

* * *

**Darcy**

Darcy shivered. _Where were they?_

''Darcy.''

She whipped around. _No, no, no. This wasn't who she wanted to find her!_

She heard a low laugh. There Stephen stood. Calm and serene, almost as if the caffeine had worn off already.

''Stephen?" She asked tentatively. She had to admit that the man was imposing and freaking her out way more than a little bit. Caffeine made the dude _scary_.

''I'm very disappointed in you. I expected you to be a good house guest.'' The man clasped his hands behind his back, his tone somehow both mocking and reprimanding. He slowly advanced on her.

''Astrid came up with..." The treacherous words died on her tongue. Damn him. It was Darcy's fault about the coffee, and _he_ knew it.

He smiled and stepped forward, then disappeared.

''Stephen! Stop it!'' Darcy yelled, furious with the dipstick. She whirled about, keeping her eyes peeled for when the sorcerer would next appear. The suspense was killing her. Darcy hated surprises.

Then suddenly he was right in front of her, pouring liquid onto her that sizzled and popped. It made a sickening burning noise on her skin and hair. Sickly sweet-smelling liquid dripped from her hair and into her eyes. Darcy blinked away the stinging sensation.

_What? _She opened her eyes and gaped at the sorcerer. Stephen was laughing, two cans of opened Red Bull held in either hand. "Wish I had a camera!" Stephen said between fits of laughter.

''You ass!'' Darcy shoved him away, angry and yet laughing herself. She was such an idiot. Strange had obviously stolen the Red Bull from her bedroom, where she kept a stash of it for when she needed an afternoon pick-me-up. Her diabolical prank had come back to haunt her.

And so the irony continued.

* * *

**Loki**

He held his black eye, trying not to whimper. It hurt and he cursed himself for not learning self-defense. Captain America was easy to fight. The man in the stars and stripes was sooo predictable. Especially when Loki had the Tesseract enhancing his skills. But Stephen Strange had magic at his disposal, very advanced and powerful magic. And he was quite learned in martial arts as well. Two points against Loki.

Loki bit his bloodied lip and tensed at the sound of high-pitched squealing. Darcy!

He hated the sorcerer so much. The man was so fun to play pranks on but always his revenge was swift to follow. Very practical, very disarming revenge. Loki bared his teeth in a grimace, gently massaging his right ankle. His damn leg hurt and he only prayed that he'd be able stand on it.

''If he broke my leg in that wrestling match I swear... I'll...'' Loki left the sentence unfinished, the unspoken vow just hanging from his lips, desperate to be spoken and fulfilled. What sweet revenge that would be! Loki shook the cobwebs from his mind, rising and clinging to the wall for support.

''Bastard,'' The Asgardian let out a small whimper when he stood up. His leg wasn't broken but it was most assuredly damaged. Probably sprained.

Loki's pulse beat a fast rhythm of ill-disguised panic when he heard another shriek from Darcy's lips. He hobbled along as fast as he could, until at last he rounded a corner and found the woman laughing, cursing, and pissed off all at once.

''You ass!'' she screamed at the magician, who had promptly disappeared upon Loki's entrance.

Loki smiled in relief. He truly did love Darcy. At least _she_ didn't get beat up, he thought. But of course she wouldn't. Stephen Strange was nothing if not a gentleman towards the ladies. It was only the men that Strange was hostile towards. Darcy spotted Loki and ran up to him.

''Oh my gosh! What happened?'' She stroked his face tenderly.

''Well... let's just say Stephen has punished me..." Loki sighed dramatically. He glanced over Darcy's wet and sticky form. "What on earth is all over you?" He asked, looking at the liquid on her shirt and hair.

''Strange got a sense of humor and poured Red Bull all over me,'' Darcy replied, gently touching the bruises on her lover's face. "Wow, we need to get you taken care of," she said, biting her lip in worry/

_Hmm... Maybe getting into trouble **wasn't** such a bad idea... _Loki thought mischievously.

* * *

**Stephen**

The man chuckled darkly as he left Darcy. She was still fuming, angry at the justified prank that he had pulled on her. Darcy was much easier to handle than Astrid. Astrid was wily, a trickster at good times. She'd know he'd be coming for her next.

_What should this revenge be upon her?_ He thought of all the possibilities. Not that he really wanted to harm her. Far from it actually. Stephen just had to make it clear that if people thought it funny to pull a joke on him, then they'd soon find their tricks turned against them. As Stephen mused a devilish smile lit upon his lips. One thought stuck out clearly and he knew with a certainty of what the next step was.

''Next we conquer Astrid...'' Stephen whispered to himself.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this update! One more chapter coming. Please read and review! :)**


	3. Love Is Always Strange

**WARNING: Extreme lovemaking later on in this chapter. There will be an obvious line break. Skip ahead though if you want to see the ending :) Don't like... DON'T READ!**

* * *

"You know, Strange is pretty scary when he's all caffeinated like that," Darcy said with a frown as she gently pressed an ice pack to Loki's battered face. The Asgardian moaned softly, leaning his head away from the contact. "Hold still! This'll help trust me." Darcy held Loki's head in place as she ministered to his "wounds", muttering curses about the sorcerer the whole while. "I can't believe he did this to you! This is what Stephen calls a fair fight?" Darcy gestured at Loki, her lips writhing in frustration.

The dark-haired man didn't bother to dissuade her from her rantings. Loki rather liked it when Darcy was angry. She was cute that way, how her eyes sparked up with a fire of their own, her mouth quirked in a half-snarl, and her shoulders inobtrusively hunched in as though expecting an attack. She was adorable.

Darcy sighed, brushing a strand of sticky hair out of her eyes. "I wonder if Stephen's found Astrid yet. I mean she could be hiding anywhere! Well... she'll be hiding if she knows what's good for her," Darcy added darkly.

Loki shook his head, lowering his gaze to the floor. "He has good reason to be angry. Astrid _knows_ just how much he hates coffee, and how much more so he hates being pranked. I dread what he has planned for her," Loki chuckled silently at the inside joke. If Loki knew Stephen, which he did, then Astrid certainly had nothing to fear. She was in good hands.

* * *

**Astrid and Stephen...**

Astrid walked down the hallway cautiously. Things had been quiet for awhile now. Almost _too_ quiet. She darted about like a scared rabbit at the slightest noise, never knowing when Stephen would get the jump on her. He wasn't acting _at all_ like himself, which is what scared her most. Who knew what that Red Bull had done to his mind? Astrid sincerely hoped that the effects of the energy drink would wear off soon. Should she be that lucky.

_Astrid._ A disembodied voice whispered her name, almost like a prayer. Astrid's heartbeat skyrocketed and she dashed down the hallway as fast as she could. Being in this immense mazelike home, with her boyfriend being caffeine-crazed, had Astrid a nervous wreck. What would he do to her? Would vengeance be swift, or subtle? Had he already gotten to Loki and Darcy?

Heart pounding in her chest, the rush of adrenaline making everything too loud and too clear, Astrid darted into a room to find sanctuary. Maybe she could wait him out. He'd be thinking more clearly when there wasn't so much caffeine in his system. It shouldn't be long before the effects wore off, right?

"My dear, why is it you hide from me?" And then Stephen was there in the room with her. He approached slowly, a smile lighting on his lips, completely at ease with the knowledge that he had the upper hand.

Astrid backed away. "Um, are you sane again?" she asked bluntly. Boy she was_ never_ giving him coffee again.

He stopped a few feet away from her, cocking his head slightly. "Whatever do you mean?"

Astrid hesitated. She could tell by the smirk on his face and the dangerous glint in his eyes that the caffeine still hadn't worn off. The question was, what was he going to do now? The answer was simple. She knew what he had in store for her. Just by looking at him she could tell what he wanted.

Stephen shook his head. "My dear, you are so naïve. It's quite charming really." He waved his hand in the direction of the door. It closed and she heard the click of the lock.

Astrid made for the other door. Stephen blocked it and locked the one behind her.

''You're trapped now. Any more ideas?" Stephen mocked, coming closer to her.

Astrid watched him warily, eyeing his movements.

He took another step closer and she could see his irises. Like pinpricks of black in a pool of grey.

She backed away, bumping her back against the wall. Astrid felt against the wall, searching for an escape route.

''Stephen... " She whispered, leaning farther back as he came closer.

He smiled and put one arm on either side of her, trapping her. He leaned in, soft breaths ruffling her hair. Stephen put one hand on her waist, bringing her closer to him. Astrid felt herself giving in. She put a hand on his cheek, tracing his jaw line with her fingers.

Stephen pressed his lips against hers. A shock of electricity ran through her. Astrid pulled him closer to her. Her lips moved against his hungrily. She moved her hands down his back, loving the way his shirt clung to his body.

Stephen slowly lowered himself down, taking Astrid with him. Kissing her lips, her cheek, biting the soft skin of her neck hungrily. He wanted more. He gently pushed at her tank top, fingering the thin straps as he slowly pushed them off her shoulders.

Astrid kissed him again and again. Playing with his shirt buttons as he pushed her to the ground. Slowly, she began to unbutton his shirt, feeling his heart beat faster at her touch. Without breaking the kiss Stephen slowly eased off his shirt, pale skin gleaming in the half-light. He slowly slid off her tank top, exposing her bare skin.

The black lace of her bra tickled her chest as he leaned down. She could feel his muscles and his pulse beating rapidly on his tender neck as she wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her like a starved animal, pushing her harder.

Astrid felt Stephen back, loving the way her fingers glided over his body. He tensed and put his hands at her waist, slowly moving them upward. He was stroking her collarbone, then her hair, pushing himself closer to her.

Astrid felt at his hair, lacing her fingers through it. _I love him, I love him, I love this man! _She sang to the heavens, rejoicing in the feel of his body against hers.

* * *

**Later...**

Loki and Darcy were sharing a bowl of popcorn when Astrid stumbled into the kitchen. They looked up in surprise at her somewhat tattered appearance, noting that she was clad only in a white dress shirt that was a few sizes too big for her and was clearly not her own.

"We...are..._never_...giving him...coffee...again," Astrid said as she slumped against the counter.

"What happened to you?" Darcy burst out, gaping as Astrid tugged at the light fabric. The woman wrapped it tighter about her body, a dazed expression in her eyes. At this point Astrid could care less that she was standing half-naked in the kitchen.

"He...magicked my clothes away," Astrid replied vaguely.

Darcy and Loki shared a wide-eyed look.

''Well I guess your encounter with Stephen was much more... _Pleasant,_'' Loki said in mocking tones, smirking at Astrid.

''I think he's asleep now...'' Astrid said, ignoring Loki while she got a glass of milk.

Darcy and Loki watched quietly as Astrid took a sip of milk, paused thoughtfully, and then walked away.

''... Next time we need a video camera, some duct tape, and apple juice,'' Darcy said, looking at Loki mischievously.

''What makes you think Astrid will let us do that to Stephen again?" Loki asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

''I didn't say we would do that to Stephen...'' Darcy replied, eyeing Loki up and down.

''... No, no, no. We are not doing that,'' Loki said firmly.

''Of course not Loki. What was I thinking? We'll find someone else... _Not._'' She barely whispered the last part as she leaned in close and kissed her boyfriend's lips. ''Let's go home, away from stupid pranks and crazy sorcerers.''

* * *

**A/N: Please read and review :)**


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